What is some of the best/worst advice you have ever received regarding a move?
What has worked well? What have been lessons learned?
What are some hopes and fears for those who prepare to transition?
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
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10 comments:
Thomas, apparently no one is yet responding to you so I will. In terms of moving the best advice I have for you is that the clergy you are following made friends where you are going. Respect their relationships even as you forge new ones.
I learned that despite my best efforts some people will never like me and others will love me inspite of my efforts.
You will find joy and pain in your first appointment and especially in your first transition from one church to another.
Many first appointments are tough and may last only a short time. Stay as long as you can and love the people as best you can.
I think what I'm most concerned about is the fact that there are a lot of life changes happening all at once for my wife and me: we're moving, I'm transitioning out of school (straight through to A.B.D. on my Ph.D.) into a "real" job, she's transitioning from work to stay-at-home, and we're expecting our first child in September. How many big things can one cram into 6 months?
Thank you Garth and Alex for your comments. Any time there is change, there is stress and that has been something that Leslie and I have been learning.
I attended a "Pastors in Transition Workshop" the other day, and it was very helpful in terms of thinking about things to do and things not to do. The simple reminders such as, "You cannot go back to do a funeral/wedding/baptism, etc. without the permission of the previous pastor" seem to be simple reminders, but also help in the transition period. It reminds me that no matter what I do, the ministry is still about the church, and not about the minister.
It wasn't all good, however. I heard some very mixed views on the theological and practical reasonings for itenracy. They varied from one presenter saying we needed to get back to a more early Wesleyan view (one, two years tops) and another presenter making a case for 10 year averages. It was very interesting.
My bags aren't quite packed. I'm still preaparing for a trip to Canada in a couple days with my girlfriend's family. I doubt she will see this comment so I'll let you in on a secret: I'm proposing on this trip. The next month of my life is probably one of the biggest in terms of life transition I've ever had. Engagement, commissioing, first appointment, moving, moving my prospective fiance and find her a job. wow, pray for me.
Greg,
Have a safe trip. Good luck.
It seems that you have a lot of changes as well. Right now, we have moved and it feels like vacation Hopefully, you can enjoy vacation for what it is.
Our prayers will be with you.
just wondering, what age range is the Young Clergy Initiative for?
Regarding moving...my advice is take time to appreciate the opportunity to "start over." Any mistakes you think you may have made along the way... won't be known in your new appointment so it is a new slate.
The move can be physically and emotionally draining so take some personal time to do something fun and just relax.
Most importantly I have come to really appreciate the words "don't take it personally"...coming or going some people will love you, hate you, or will have a wait and see attitude. Friendships/relationships not tied directly to your church are invaluable.
Dear anonymous,
Thank you for your post. That is helpful advice.
Regarding your question about the age range, it is hard to limit it. We do want to encourage connectionalism across age, status, etc., but do want to maintain and provide a connection for young clergy. However, one of the ways to do that is to tap into the resources of older clergy who have been serving.
Yet another facet involved is the realization that second career clergy may at times have had less experience that some younger clergy. For that reason, there is no recommended age range. However, the line has been 35 years old. This does not mean that we are going to check id's or exclude you. I encourage you to come to our event (it will serve more like a meet and greet) during Annual Conference, or email me (gthomasmartin@gmail.com) with any questions.
thanks for answering my question.
I suppose (at age 37) I am part of the forgotten "in-between group." Don't have much in common with the majority of my peers who are looking toward retirement and talking about grandkids (while we are still potty training our 2yr old); and yet am not considered a part of the young clergy either.
I am prayerful that this group is very helpful and supportive to one another - that way you can keep each other sane.
My bags are not packed yet. And the movers show up in the morning. It's going to be a long night...
Sorry I missed the meeting the other night at conference. I was at the Children's Choir concert, 3rd row, next to Ricky Varnell. I didn't really think I could sneak out unnoticed.
I'm not sure if the meeting happened at all, what with the length of the concert. If so, I hope it went well.
Alex
It did go well. I will probably post on the meeting tomorrow night or Monday morning.
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